Question: What did you want to be when you grew up?
I always wanted to be a mom. I couldn't think of a better occupation to be. Someone to take care of the kids, to make dinner and sew costumes. Seriously that is what I wanted to be.
In high school they wanted us to discuss with our counsellors what we wanted to be. I stated I wanted to be a psychiatrist. I had read a book about them and thought they were fascinating in that they could decifer why people did what they did. That is what I wanted to be. My school counsellor actually called my mom in for a discussion. He felt that I was being unrealistic in my goals. Unbelievable.
What made the discussion worse is at the end, he stated I should strive to be a nurse. That was a good profession for a girl. Not being a doctor.
To add insult to injury, my mom stated I should take business classes because the best I would ever be was a secretary. A secretary! How dare here. I had much more lofty goals. Lo and behold, what was one of the jobs I held? A secretary. I was also a teacher's aide, an assistant to an elected official, an assistant Clerk/Recorder who managed the office, a Business Services Officer for a Probation Department in charge of a multi-million dollar budget and finally and quilt store owner. See I could have been a psychiatrist if I had not been discouraged.
No one should tell someone else they cannot be something they want to be. They should encourage them to strive for their goals. If they fall short, that is something they have to deal with. But don't discourage them.
Showing posts with label My thoughts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My thoughts. Show all posts
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Child rearing philosphy - hmmmm
Question: What is your child rearing philosophy?
As you go through life your philosophies change as you age. Had I been asked to put this information down when I was actually raising my children, it probably would have been greatly different than it is now. I will try to put down what I believed then and now.
I was a strict enforcer of time frames for children. I felt, and still do, that children should have a schedule and hold to it as close as possible. There are times to relax that schedule, but when all things are running "normal" then try to adhere to them. I believe breakfast, lunch and dinner should be at about the same time each day. A child can almost tell time by how their stomach feels. It gives them comfort to have that stable time frame in their lives. I believe it also helps them stay healthier than if they go long periods between meals and it definitely cuts down on snacking in between. Along the same lines, I believe the family should be at the table each meal with no TV present. The TV is something that was added after raising kids. We often had it on during dinner. It was disruptive at times.
Bed time is a more stringent time frame that should be adhered to. Children need to have a set time each night to go to bed. It can be flexible for special events or for summer time. I believe, then and now, a child should be put to bed, not sent to bed. A story should be read or told; a discussion of their day could be had; a tickling session, as long as it doesn't disrupt the child from falling asleep shortly thereafter, could be had. Make going to bed a fun and one-on-one time whereever possible. It does two things. One it gives the kids a stability again that you strive for in a child's life. It also gives you a time that is yours. If a child stays up until you go to bed, when is your time of the day. Now all that said, teens are a different breed altogether. That strict time frame is more for young children, up to junior high school level. Once they are in high school, I was much more lenient, though they did have a settle down time of 10 p.m. on school nights even then. Bed time was more up to them.
I was fairly strict in other ways. I said no way too often. Now I would try to structure their lives in a more learning, giving atmosphere. I would let them do things that their stretched their minds in a curious fashion. I would also not let TV or video games be a major part of the family life. I would set certain times and shows that could be watched. I would emphasize reading a lot more.
We were a family that went places together a lot. Children learn by doing. We camped and travelled and went sightseeing. They didn't always want to be there, but I think they learned to appreciate what we did and where we went. We often would take what we called short cuts home from places to broaden their horizons. Sometimes it was not so short; actually it was never shorter. It gave them a different outlook of their environment. I believe it showed them there are many ways to do something--even just going home.
I included church in their bringing up, but I forced it on them. Now none of them feel church is important in their lives. I wish I would have handled that different. I would have included more prayer and done family home evening every week instead of rarely, like we did. I would have encouraged Gil to be more a part of the church activities, though it was hard with his work schedule.
More than anything, I would have shown and said how much I love them. I would put my arms around them more than I did. I love my kids. I love how they turned out. I love their families now. They are all good people and are doing well in this world. I guess Gil and I did okay when you come right down to it.
As you go through life your philosophies change as you age. Had I been asked to put this information down when I was actually raising my children, it probably would have been greatly different than it is now. I will try to put down what I believed then and now.
I was a strict enforcer of time frames for children. I felt, and still do, that children should have a schedule and hold to it as close as possible. There are times to relax that schedule, but when all things are running "normal" then try to adhere to them. I believe breakfast, lunch and dinner should be at about the same time each day. A child can almost tell time by how their stomach feels. It gives them comfort to have that stable time frame in their lives. I believe it also helps them stay healthier than if they go long periods between meals and it definitely cuts down on snacking in between. Along the same lines, I believe the family should be at the table each meal with no TV present. The TV is something that was added after raising kids. We often had it on during dinner. It was disruptive at times.
Bed time is a more stringent time frame that should be adhered to. Children need to have a set time each night to go to bed. It can be flexible for special events or for summer time. I believe, then and now, a child should be put to bed, not sent to bed. A story should be read or told; a discussion of their day could be had; a tickling session, as long as it doesn't disrupt the child from falling asleep shortly thereafter, could be had. Make going to bed a fun and one-on-one time whereever possible. It does two things. One it gives the kids a stability again that you strive for in a child's life. It also gives you a time that is yours. If a child stays up until you go to bed, when is your time of the day. Now all that said, teens are a different breed altogether. That strict time frame is more for young children, up to junior high school level. Once they are in high school, I was much more lenient, though they did have a settle down time of 10 p.m. on school nights even then. Bed time was more up to them.
I was fairly strict in other ways. I said no way too often. Now I would try to structure their lives in a more learning, giving atmosphere. I would let them do things that their stretched their minds in a curious fashion. I would also not let TV or video games be a major part of the family life. I would set certain times and shows that could be watched. I would emphasize reading a lot more.
We were a family that went places together a lot. Children learn by doing. We camped and travelled and went sightseeing. They didn't always want to be there, but I think they learned to appreciate what we did and where we went. We often would take what we called short cuts home from places to broaden their horizons. Sometimes it was not so short; actually it was never shorter. It gave them a different outlook of their environment. I believe it showed them there are many ways to do something--even just going home.
I included church in their bringing up, but I forced it on them. Now none of them feel church is important in their lives. I wish I would have handled that different. I would have included more prayer and done family home evening every week instead of rarely, like we did. I would have encouraged Gil to be more a part of the church activities, though it was hard with his work schedule.
More than anything, I would have shown and said how much I love them. I would put my arms around them more than I did. I love my kids. I love how they turned out. I love their families now. They are all good people and are doing well in this world. I guess Gil and I did okay when you come right down to it.
Thursday, September 20, 2012
My advice to those younger than me
Question: What is your advice to those younger than you?
Well, when I was just a youngin' my grandpappy sat me on his knee and. . . .
Seriously I am old enough, darn it, to be able to advise others younger than me. I know most will not take that advice, but here it is for what it is worth.
1. Do not worry about what others think of you. They are too busy thinking about what you will think of them to care. Be your own self.
2. When your kids are small, keep the words don't and no out of the vocabulary as much as possible. Let them explore and try different things. They will learn better that way. Of course if something is going to hurt them, then the words should be used. Let them climb up the slide the wrong way. Let them climb up that tree. Let them ride their skateboard on their stomachs until they get the courage to ride it the right way. Let them take that old clock apart to see what makes it tick. Watch them explore. Help them understand. Be with them in their doings.
3. Create a bucket list before you are too old to do many of them. Then work some into your life now.
4. Love your spouse without judgement. Do things with him/her. Develop interests together. Laugh at their jokes. Comfort them when they need comforting. Be there for them. Remember you are going to spend more of your life with them than you will with your children, friends or co-workers.
5. Have family reunions with cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents. This gives you and your children a sense of belonging that doesn't come many other ways.
6. To go along with #5, do your genealogy as far back as you can. When you get stuck, go to your extended family to add to it.
7. Along with #5, write in your journal no less than one time a week. As you age you do forget. You will have a wonderful resource to go back to to help you remember certain activities and times in your life. Some say a journal is for your progeny. I say your journal is for you as you forget the times, good and bad, you had in your life. The people that come after you will enjoy reading what you have to say, but it is more for you in this life.
8. Do your scrapbooking as you go along. Write narratives to go along with the pictures. Identify who is in the picture. Don't wait to start until you retire. You will forget certain aspects of the times the pictures were taken. Plus you will have so much to do, it will be overwhelming. Ask me. I am working on getting some of that done now.
9. Start a blog. Write about what you want to write about. It can be about anything. Remember that you can set it up to be private, but nothing on the internet is private completely. Be careful not to put anything you wouldn't want someone else to read. Write about your trips, movies you watched, books you read, your family and extended family. Whatever. Just do it.
10. Appreciate yourself. You are unique - no one like you in the whole wide world. Love you for how you are and who you are.
There. That is the wisdom of Peggy.
Seriously I am old enough, darn it, to be able to advise others younger than me. I know most will not take that advice, but here it is for what it is worth.
1. Do not worry about what others think of you. They are too busy thinking about what you will think of them to care. Be your own self.
2. When your kids are small, keep the words don't and no out of the vocabulary as much as possible. Let them explore and try different things. They will learn better that way. Of course if something is going to hurt them, then the words should be used. Let them climb up the slide the wrong way. Let them climb up that tree. Let them ride their skateboard on their stomachs until they get the courage to ride it the right way. Let them take that old clock apart to see what makes it tick. Watch them explore. Help them understand. Be with them in their doings.
3. Create a bucket list before you are too old to do many of them. Then work some into your life now.
4. Love your spouse without judgement. Do things with him/her. Develop interests together. Laugh at their jokes. Comfort them when they need comforting. Be there for them. Remember you are going to spend more of your life with them than you will with your children, friends or co-workers.
5. Have family reunions with cousins, aunts and uncles, grandparents. This gives you and your children a sense of belonging that doesn't come many other ways.
6. To go along with #5, do your genealogy as far back as you can. When you get stuck, go to your extended family to add to it.
7. Along with #5, write in your journal no less than one time a week. As you age you do forget. You will have a wonderful resource to go back to to help you remember certain activities and times in your life. Some say a journal is for your progeny. I say your journal is for you as you forget the times, good and bad, you had in your life. The people that come after you will enjoy reading what you have to say, but it is more for you in this life.
8. Do your scrapbooking as you go along. Write narratives to go along with the pictures. Identify who is in the picture. Don't wait to start until you retire. You will forget certain aspects of the times the pictures were taken. Plus you will have so much to do, it will be overwhelming. Ask me. I am working on getting some of that done now.
9. Start a blog. Write about what you want to write about. It can be about anything. Remember that you can set it up to be private, but nothing on the internet is private completely. Be careful not to put anything you wouldn't want someone else to read. Write about your trips, movies you watched, books you read, your family and extended family. Whatever. Just do it.
10. Appreciate yourself. You are unique - no one like you in the whole wide world. Love you for how you are and who you are.
There. That is the wisdom of Peggy.
Monday, February 8, 2010
I have not been posting here lately.
Good afternoon. It has been a while since I have posted here. In all honesty I have wondered if I should be posting these thoughts to the internet. Then my daughter wrote saying how much she was enjoying reading this information, as she and her daughter were learning more about me than she knew. Since I do my original text in Word, I am keeping a file of what I write that I can eventually print out for my posterity.
I hope anyone who is reading this, too, is finding this information interesting. More than that, I hope you are taking the time to write your answers to the questions I post. Have fun with it. Make it yours in your own way. Even if you do not write from the questions, take time at least once a week to write down something of your personal or family history. It is great fun to go back and read it at a later date.
Keep journalling!
I hope anyone who is reading this, too, is finding this information interesting. More than that, I hope you are taking the time to write your answers to the questions I post. Have fun with it. Make it yours in your own way. Even if you do not write from the questions, take time at least once a week to write down something of your personal or family history. It is great fun to go back and read it at a later date.
Keep journalling!
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